In a post titled, Judgment, John Schroeder at Blogotional says:
"Love is not expressed in the absence of demands, but is defined by demands. Not demands for the sake of the lover, but demands for the sake of the loved."
I think John is right. (I might use the word "strictures" or "requirements" in place of "demands," though none of the three sound very inviting.) The key is found in his second sentence: love demands, not of someone, but for someone -- not even for what one thinks is for someone, but for what really is for that person. Which means that there is a non-arbitrary guideline, beyond both the lover and the loved, which Christians take as being given in Scripture, by God, through the Holy Spirit and the body of believers.
A loving action is done on behalf of another. It might involve limits, and even discomfort. But, as a vine is trained and pruned so as to grow most optimally, so must we be. We must not be afraid to do this for others, as appropriate, nor despise or resent it being done to us. (Easier said than done, I know. But that's why we have the Spirit :-) )
(edited 8/19)
