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Reactions

Much of what I do in the internet seems to be centered around reactions: to issues, to a blogpost and opinions, to a news item, to some cultural phenomenon that catches my eye. I have some recurring topics that interest me. There are probably a group of bloggers like me, and if I had time on my hands I would likely put together a little set of stereotypical profiles of types of bloggers. Maybe in the future. Right now, I'd like to point to a couple things pertinent to Intellectuelle's topics de la semaine.

I wrote my own 'Church Lady' post, with my own bird's eye perspective; and reposted the "Mommy Wars" one to revisit the world of SAHM's. There is a history there. The purpose for saying something here is due to the fact that I think the more we gather together our experiences while holding them up to the light the more accurately we will form our opinions and see how it all fits together.

Another thing I am reacting to, but haven't written upon yet is on the topic of how we as Christians should interact, especially when we strongly disagree. It has nothing to with the topics here at Intellectuelle, but is something of interest I ran across elsewhere in the blogosphere, and I do think we bump up against it regularly when interacting online.
Want to know what triggered the topic? And what questions arise concerning the subject of Christian engagement of controversies or hot topics? Read on....

Maybe you would prefer to ignore such conflicts as have arisen between Team Pyro, Rick Ianniello, and bob.blog, but to me this is familiar territory, and not only questioning what the rules are for Christian bloggers, but in our dealings with the people in our families and churches. What is your style of dealing with confrontational styles of discussion or dealing with issues and how do you judge its "rightness"? Is it as clearly right or wrong as all that? Or is there maybe alot of misunderstanding of intent and meaning?
From Rick's blog ( which I appreciate, and have for quite awhile) come the situation and the questions:

* Can one be a Christian and still be deceived and sin?
* Can one publicly confront another in a graceful way?
* Under what circumstances?
* Who decides when the confrontation is inappropriate or has gone on long enough?

You could comment here or on his blog.

And earlier he posted this:
Tips For Keeping Peace
* Slow down the action
* Listen well
* Give the other person the benefit of the doubt
* Acknowledge the other person's feelings
* Be strong without being mean
* Try to see a conflict as a problem to be solved
* Set your sights on a "win-win" solution
* If you don't seem to be getting anywhere in solving a conflict, ask for help
* Remember that conflict, handled well, can lead to personal growth and better relationships
* The true heroes and sheroes of today's world are not the Rambos

Comments

To me, a few things stand out in dealing with others on the Web:

1. The Golden Rule - If we abided by this one alone, really lived it, conflicts would be handled more compassionately than they are.

2. "Edelen's Rule of Discipleship" - No one arrives fully formed. In other words, all Christians are on a growth path, and you never know at what stage you're confronting someone else. I give others the benefit of the doubt because I know that I have grown immensely from where I first started. This is especially true of blogosphere interactions, since the people we interact with are, essentially, strangers. One person's comment on a blog cannot tell me everything about her life. And I suspect that every American Christian (at the least) has formed her theology around life experiences as much as the veracity of Scripture. The person who voices on the Web that he doesn't always trust God may not so much be some sulfurous heretic, but a guy who saw his mom go through a litany of men who drifted in and out of her life. But how can I know that? Worse, why should I attack that person as if God can never heal that flawed understanding of Fatherhood?

3. Always lead with love - Love carries the day. The NT drives home again and again that Christian maturity is measured by love, real love, not the blogopshere's "I'm calling you a hellbound heretic because I'm demonstrating love," kind of nonsense. No, we should treat others the same way we wish to be treated, understand that people are constantly growing and changing as they mature in Christ, and that Christ condemns those who place millstones around the necks of little children.

Too many bloggers get perverse glee out of dismantling fellow believers (whether they consider that person a fellow believer or not). They are quick to judge and slow to love. They revel in putting another's faith under the microscope, but then lash out when others do the same to them. Or they develop a martyr's complex. It's all very sad and pathological.

Posted by: DLE at August 18, 2007 10:42 AM

I love your additional thoughts here. I learned that they are very true -the hard way ( you bat a ball out there and then THWACK! it gets batted back to[at] you)

..just all so true, Dan.

Posted by: Ilona at August 18, 2007 12:08 PM

Thanks for the link. Now the challenge is to live up to my desire. So far I am not doing well - but still better than the past so there is hope.

Posted by: Rick at August 20, 2007 6:29 PM
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