John at Blogotional raises yet another very important issue in Why is it Rare? He's referring to spiritual formation.
John quotes from Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice: Experiments in Spiritual Transformation by Dallas Willard and Jan Johnson, who mention sexual sin among pastors (and Christians in general), saying,
But sex is far from being the only problem inside and outside the church. The presence of vanity, egotism, hostility, fear, indifference, and downright meanness can be counted on among professing Christians. Their opposites cannot be counted on or simply assumed in the standard Christian group, and the rare individual who exemplifies these opposites - genuine purity and humility, death to selfishness, freedom from rage and depression, and so on - will stand out in the group with all the obtrusiveness of a sore thumb. This person will be a constant hindrance in group processes and will be personally conflicted by them, for he or she will not be living on the same terms as the others. (emphasis added)...The path of spiritual transformation today lies through the illumination that we have ruined souls. This must be gratefully and humbly accepted and applied, to oneself above all... Only then is a foundation laid for spiritual formation into Christlikeness.
(There is more; I commend the whole post.)
Of the first paragraph quoted, John says,
This tells me that our institutions are very sick. We breed our leadership to show attributes other than what we desire, and we reward those that show not the correct attributes, but the ones we encourage in leadership.How do we fix this?
He speaks specifically of leaders in the church, but, in light of the priesthood of all believers, the question must be asked in regard to all believers.
And here are my thoughts, for what they're worth:
1. We breed Christians in general to show attributes others than what we desire. We don't really aid and encourage their transformation (Romans 2:12); certain types of transformation are rewarded but others are ignored. We don't encourage one another to look for reward in heaven rather than on earth. We preach at people, and give spiritual transformation a lot of lip service, but don't follow up with action.
2. We encourage or allow worldly (or at least mainly human) leadership characteristics rather than spiritual ones. Not that the two won't always overlap, but the servant-leader model, again, gets more lip-talk than actual walk.
Bottom line is that we all need to be bold, and to find our true confidence in God and in others whom we recognize as true spiritual leaders. But bold doesn't mean brash; nor does humble mean not bold. We have to speak up for godliness and truth even when doing so, even at church, is not popular. Which can be done in kindness while we go about our usual business of fellowshiping; we can continue to enjoy our fellow church members and participate in the life of the church.
However, if the problem is so bad that we cannot enjoy them, and if the sin is serious and unrepented of, then we must address the issue according to Matthew 18:15-20. If there aren't enough at the church (or other Christian institution) who are willing to do this, though... then, as John says, "Dear Lord help us!"
We must also be bold (and humble) to confess our own weaknesses and sin, in appropriate ways and to the appropriate people. We need to exhibit kindness to others who fail or who fall.
I suspect that many in the church, even those who are predominantly good of heart, honestly don't know what to do with the pride of others. Vanity, egotism, hostility, fear, indifference, and downright meanness can be confounding, confusing, and downright scary. Many seem cowed by the sin -- the evil -- behind this type of behavior. Or else they don't actually recognize it for what it is. They are confused and intimidated by the manipulation.
*****
Regarding issues of leadership, it's true that often the "average" church member, or those under the leadership in a Christian institution, have very little say in issues of spiritual formation in that church or institution. They may speak up in meetings or to the leadership, but often their words have little influence because they are not in "the circle."
Therefore, in order to have a chance at correcting both spiritually unformed leaders and laity, there must be an all-encompassing accountability system. Spiritual leaders must be chosen not according to training, income, line of work, or rank (not the same as reputation) in the community-at-large, nor merely correct doctrine, but according to their spiritual maturity. (Which is pretty clearly laid out in I Timothy 3:1-13 and 5:17-22.)
A human power circle should not exist (though what church or institution doesn't have one?). Rather, the leadership, i.e., the ones in position of privilege to exercise power, must lead solely in the power of God. This is power which does not dominate but elevates all for the glory of God.
Another problem is that there are many types of sin we tend to view as "personal;" i.e., we view it as another person's business and not ours to challenge. When we witness unkindness, we probably don't generally address it to the person. (Or if we do, we don't do so in the proper spirit.) A lot of these things probably don't get talked about at all, except in gossip, which obviously is a sin itself. Or they get maneuvered around so as to avoid directly addressing them. Or, the guilty party gets demonized or ostracized, or otherwise dismissed.
Dan Edelen at Cerulean Sanctum speaks of failure and falling in We Need a Gospel That Speaks to Failure (which I highly recommend). Though he perhaps paints with too general and simplistic a brush, he ably highlights the church's widespread lack of addressing human failure. This includes both human and spiritual failure, both of which need to be addressed in compassion and truth. As to needing a gospel that speaks to failure, though, I think we already have one! It's just not truly believed and lived. Clearly the gospel is a message of salvation and triumph to the one who has failed, which is every one of us.
Many churches, and many individuals within churches, probably do truly wish to live this "gospel of failure" yet their efforts get hung up on the net of already-established social customs (that "reward" the winners and "punish" the losers). There is not a complete spiritual transformation of the social structure.
In this interview with Sarah Kelly by Christianity Today we can see a real-life example of someone who suffered abuse at the hands of a church leader. Kelly, a singer-songwriter, speaks of physical abuse from a boyfriend who was studying to be a pastor, and of her divorce from an abusive husband who was "considered a leader" in her church. (HT: Emotional Abuse and Your Faith). Of him, Kelly says,
He has moved far away. But I still believe that God has huge plans for him. He was and is loved and esteemed highly in our church. In fact, he was considered a leader. And just like I didn't feel safe to tell this secret, he didn't feel safe to get the help he needed from the "baggage" in his own life before he got saved. I wish him the best in dealing with his painful past as I deal with mine. And that very thing is why I devote my life to promoting honesty in the church. We've got to let people be human and not feel the need to put on the "perfect front."
The phenomenon of being "addicted to abuse" or otherwise under its power is widespread. It is something that needs to be much better understood and dealt within the church. But I fear that many shy away from information that may aid in this because of its sources in psychology. Which is really too bad. Truth is truth, no matter to whom it's given. It is not difficult to see the spiritual parallels and dynamics at play in all manner of psychological analysis.
Toward answering John's question, then, I would say that we need both honesty and true accountability in the church. This must include leaders and members, students, workers, and presidents -- everyone. We need to honor truly spiritually-formed living over "correct doctrine." Correct doctrine, imo, is evidenced in true Christian living! (Not perfect living, but contrite living.) But this doesn't happen through programs; it happens through personal relationships.
We need to be safe to tell our secrets and get help with them. We need to confront the sin of those who would rather hide their sinful behavior (and which of us does that not include, right?). At the same time we need to be aware that many try to capitalize on the pity engendered by sharing stories of abuse. Some people may indeed be so wary of this that they tend to view any confession of this type as a manipulative ploy. But discernment is needed. Discernment requires knowledge - knowledge of a person and the facts of their situation as well as knowledge and understanding of spiritual truth.
(edited for ease of reading :-) )
