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Not my place to prove

I was cleaning up my computer files and found this quote that I'd saved. It's from Phil Dillon, who blogs at Another Man's Meat. (Couldn't find the post it was from, my apologies.) Here's the quote:

I came to see, little by little, that it was not my place to defend myself or prove myself to others. There are times when it seems more difficult than others. It’s even happened recently. And, thanks to that “chance” meeting in a parking lot years ago I come to rest in those wonderful words when I feel the urge to regress – “This is the work of God, that you believe on him whom He hath sent.”

I really appreciate these words because I too find myself feeling pressed or obliged to either defend myself or to further explain when it is not necessary. Sometimes I think it is necessary, for example, if I am questioned or challenged over something I did or said. In this case my "defense" is an explanation for the benefit of the questioner. These kinds of things are common in family- or other close relationships, I think. (And in blogging :-) )

Sometimes, though, misunderstandings persist, as with other types of disagreement. (And often no doubt exist at the same time in the same situation.) In this case, no amount of additional defense or explanation can help, so one must let go and move on.

Comments

Sometimes it is necessary to explain ourselves (and sometimes that becomes a defense) in order to keep relationships in good repair. Relationships are valuable, and I think our instincts in those situations, to talk out the issues, comes from our gut-level desire to heal and repair things that are broken, and that are worth fixing.

But in another area, defending my beliefs, I'm quicker to draw a line and say "I release you to the consequences of your own choices." I'm satisfied that my beliefs make sense, and even when they are mocked I don't feel a strong need to defend myself. Only to the extent that I might shed some light and create some understanding where it doesn't exist. But that's for the benefit of the other person.

I do think that faith and belief comes about more through a private, inner work of the Holy Spirit in others than through my clever words. "This is the work of God..." is saying that it is ultimately God's job to persuade.

Posted by: Charlie at December 13, 2006 4:34 PM
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