John Schroeder at Blogotional writes a trenchant post on Why we Blog. He shares thoughts from a GodBlogCon discussion he moderated based on Linc Ashby’s post on blogging at Common Grounds Online. Of church, community-building, blogging, and affirmation, he says:
Dear friends, blogging is no place to turn for affirmation, or appreciation, or encouragement. In general it is a place of competition, of beat down, of elbows, and cheap shots. Sadly, that is true even of the Godblogosphere. I think it is true because we are largely a bunch of insecure, under appreciated, desparate people that think hit counts and audience can give us the kind of affirmation we desire....Why should people have to turn to blogging to find the kind of appreciation and encouragement that they should receive from their local congregation? ...mostly its because we don't do church very well. We do worship, but we don't do church. We build audience, but we don't build community.
If you are lonely and insecure and need affirmation - please don't look for it here in blogging. You will only end up hurt and disappointed. You need to look for it in your local congregation - and you need to work hard at finding it. It will not be apparent at church - it will not be looking for you. It is not here at all in blogging, but it is there in your church, you just have to dig for it, you have to ask. That's an indictment of the church, but at least it is there somewhere.
And turn to God - He loves more than the rest of the planet can combined.
John’s words on emotional dependence are wise. But I don’t think that bloggers should look for affirmation and encouragement of the sort he refers to any more in their churches than they do anywhere else, including the Godblogosphere. Likewise I don’t think that the Godblogosphere should be held to a lower standard than a church, since both are comprised of Christians! Ultimately, as John acknowledges, “only God can give you the security and affirmation and encouragement you need on a daily basis.”
In thinking about his comments, though, I thought that, when I first discovered the blogosphere, it was a bit like my first major experience playing in an orchestra: “Eureka!” (Well, perhaps not as life-changing, but significant nonetheless.) Since I’ve been a Christian I have also dreamed of one day finding a modern-day Christian version of the Parisian literary café. But it’s been rare to find others as interested in this sort of thing as I; there have been only a few. (And each remains a friend to this day!)
But the blogosphere does seem to be a place where such folk, who apparently occupy only a very small portion of the populace, can find one another and interact. So in that sense it has provided affirmation for me regarding my identity, and it seems (most of the time ;-) ) that I have a place in it. One of the wonderful things about attending the GodBlogCon last year was that I seemed to be among a bunch of people who were, at their core, just like me. I’ve never experienced that before, anywhere! But I do feel at home in the orchestra, and at home with my husband and kids, and in my church. It’s also true that none of these things are by any stretch a cakewalk. But they are where I seem to belong.
The truth is, few of my friends in my community, church, or summer musical venue know of or care much about blogging. Many have learned of blogging from me, though I know of none who actually read blogs on a regular basis. Likewise, none of my community or church friends can truly understand or fully appreciate my musical life. (And few of my musician friends can appreciate my church life!) Not many of my church friends appreciate my homeschooling life; no other family at my church homeschools.*
Now, this does not cause me to feel insecure, although I have at times felt lonely. And oftentimes misunderstood! I have often felt like the proverbial square peg in a round hole. But I’ve learned to appreciate each of the places I'm in for what it is, and each friend I have for who they are. I’m also learning to be comfortable being myself no matter where I am. I am grateful for the bounty that God has given me!
This doesn’t mean that I never struggle with insecurity, though. I still fall into traps of the sort that John mentions, and did for some time with blogging. Yet I thank God that through Him I was able to reorient according to the reason I got involved with blogging in the first place, and to separate that from vain anxiety.
I encourage you to read both John's and Linc's posts.
*However, we have gained the respect of many through the witness of just being who we are. One dear older friend actually told me she’s changed her opinion of homeschooling due to observation of my family. (Now that’s real encouragement!)
