As the Christian and secular news is flooded with news about Ted Haggard I was reminded of an article I had written awhile back that addressed purity as it related to women. Too often as women we think that issues of sexual immorality are primarily a man's issue. We minimize the things we allow our minds to dwell on. We entertain thoughts that are displeasing to the Lord and would shock our husbands if they only knew. Often times our battles are more of the heart than of the eyes yet are still sin. We have cherished inequity in our hearts (Ps 66:18).
It is well known that many men battle impurity, but how often do we as women engage the enemy without being aware of what we’re doing? Of course there are women who are clearly engaging in impurity; in a 2003 Today’s Christian Woman magazine survey 34% of respondents stated they had intentionally visited an adult website. Those are Christian women that have admitted to visiting those sites. The Center for Internet Studies states that 1out of 3 visitors to adult sites are women. Yet as women our battle is of the heart as well as the eyes. Satan often uses different rules of engagement with us.
How often do we over identify with characters we read about in Christian romance novels? How often do we wish that our husband’s were more like some one else? How often as single women and even married women do we push the boundaries? How often do we let fantasy take a hold of us? Spend time in chat rooms? Share personal details of our life or marriage with the man in the next cubicle who really knows how to listen and understands our pain? Fantasize about that guy you should have married? Purity is not just about physical boundaries or p0rn0graphy.
We are led away by things that seem so innocuous. We see movies, read books, listen to music, even observe people around us. We see the attractive couple on the screen (or in the next pew) who seem to have it all, who seem to love each other so passionately and our own lives seem to dull by comparison. We become discontent. We begin to imagine another reality and our emotional, mental and spiritual purity is violated without our bodies being touched or our eyes seeing what we shouldn’t be seeing.
We need to stop and ask ourselves if what we are watching, reading or hearing is consistent with our values as a Christian. Would I mind being caught doing whatever it is I’m doing? Would I want my husband to know what I’m thinking or imagining? Am I involved in a spiritual relationship with a man that is leading me down a dangerous path? Do I dress for attention and the thrill that that attention gives me? Have I cherished inequity in my heart (PS 66:18)? Have I allowed myself to cherish those fantasies or relive those memories or gratify myself physically?
Sister, our hearts can become drawn away and we are left with a hole that Satan can easily fill. The Bible gives us the wisdom we need to cling to in Philippians 4:8 “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-let your mind dwell on these things.” Ask the Lord to search your heart and to root out those things that are impure.
As women we easily fall into the sin of self-righteousness, blind to our own impurity. Satan tells us that because we don’t view p0rn0graphy or lust after the men we see, we’re pure and can leave that battle to the men to fight, we are “above“ that sin. But as we allow the Spirit to convict us, we know that it is also every woman’s battle.
