John Piper fans, of which I am one, tend to aggregate naturally, like iron filings on a magnet. My guess is that 75% of our readers have already perused one or more reviews of Sex and the Supremacy of Christ and a good number may have read the book already. Thus, rather than boring you with another summary, I will launch directly into my personal experience with the book.
The chapter actually written by John Piper will be no big shocker if you have read him before. Piper is a musician with only one tune: “The Supremacy of Christ” and a variation on it called “The Glory of God.” Having already read five of Piper’s books before I tackled this one, what he wrote here about sex was no surprise. I don’t say that as a criticism. His radical God-centered theology is never old news. But I do wish he would have descended a little deeper into human psychology and explained why and how sex brings glory to God, rather than merely stating that it does. Maybe that is a subject for another book. I hope Lauren Winner deals with the psychology of sex in Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity a book I plan to read someday.
Being a married woman now for two and half years, I was immediately interested in what the Carolyn Mahaney had to say in the chapter she wrote for Christian wives. Her advice addressed dealing with being “available” for one’s husband and overcoming past sexual abuse. Since I have ever had even the remotest difficulty in either area, I found little for me. Perhaps other woman may find it to be exactly what they need.
It did keep me thinking for several weeks about how strange it is that none of the advice on sexuality for Christian women seems applicable to my temperament. Every Man’s Battle was far more relevant to me than anything I’ve ever read directed to women, although what it had to say about women also seemed bizarrely off-base. Is there a generational difference here? Sometimes I wonder. The women I know who are under 30, including myself, seem to have far more trouble controlling their sexuality than embracing it. I remember a conversation I had with a friend when both of us were studying to becoming missionaries and were also engaged to be married. She said, “I’m not worried that my husband might have an affair someday—I’m worried that I would!” I heartily concurred with her. So why the lack of information from Christian authors for women dealing with temptation?
The most helpful chapter was “Making All Things New: Restoring Pure Joy to the Sexually Broken” by David Powlison. In this chapter, Powlison does not fail to elaborate on the fact that women also struggle with sexual temptation, though he does not give as much space to men who have been sexually victimized. His case study of “Tom,” a single Christian man who struggles with compulsive masturbation was an excellent account of how sexual battles are often (I’m tempted to say “always”) the outward manifestation of underlying sins, such as anger at God or a desire for power or revenge. Some of his insights reminded me of Larry Crabb's analysis of sin inInside Out. The church fails to help those who have been broken by sexual six, whether as perpetrators or victims, when we fail to realize that recovery/repentance is more than merely making a mental decision to forgive once and for all or a internal vow to “never do it again” but involves allowing God’s mercy to transform hidden parts of our soul. Though Powlison does not say it in these exact words, I think he believes that since alienation from God is the root of our dysfunctions, including sexual, healing must come through learning the character and ways of God, not merely through relying on our own self-control.
The one chapter which seems to be missing here and also in every other book I’ve seen is a chapter for pedophiles. I confess that pedophilia is probably the one sexual sin that still truly scandalizes me, and I don’t think I’m alone in my shock. People talk a lot about how to help the victims of childhood sexual abuse, but talk a lot less about what to do with people who have urges to abuse children. I’d like to believe that pedophilia is rare enough that it doesn’t need to be addressed in a general book on sex, but sadly, statistics and experience seem to say otherwise. What should a Christian do when he is tempted by children? Keeping it secret doesn’t seem to work. But who really has the guts to confess such a thing to other Christians or even to one’s pastor? I have never yet read an testimony, even an anonymous one, by a Christian who struggled with pedophilia and learned to overcome, yet I know that many people in the church do struggle. Of course, once a child has been molested, the law needs to be involved. But what about those people who have not acted out on their urges? The church should find a way to help those people to “stay clean” for the rest of their lives. Keeping it secret and hoping that the moment will never arrive when one gives in to the temptation is just inviting disaster.
