« Show Me Some ID |
Main
| Total Truth - Study Guide Edition Upcoming Release »
Scripture and True Conversion
For some time I've been reflecting on the evolution of my faith by examining my view of Scripture during three periods: the years before I made my profession of faith in a Baptist church at age 12, then in the three more or less unchanged years following that, and finally in the past three years. Taking into consideration my apathy toward Scripture during those first two periods, I've judged that what I considered to be my "conversion experience" could not have been when it "happened," if we can speak in those terms at all. (R.C. Sproul, Jr., by the way, has recently written a thoughtful piece at his Squiblog that relates to this.) It took me a while to swallow the realization myself, so what I want to offer for consideration is my reasoning and the implications of such a conclusion.
As a new convert (or so I thought, and was given to think) during that second period, I hardly ever opened my Bible, even when I got into reading theology. Apart from the occasional pang of guilt upon hearing vague exhortations in church to do so, I really had no desire to look for understanding in its pages. When I did read, it was either to find a bumper sticker verse (e.g. Philippians 4:13) to get me through the day, or to frantically look for an answer to whatever pressing teenage dilemma I had encountered. Two years ago, I read the Bible cover to cover, and though it opened my eyes to the continuity I hadn't even known was there, I was still far from considering it my daily bread, much less the infallible word of God. As a result, for years after my alleged conversion the thought of witnessing to anybody positively paralyzed me; I had no God-centered system of ethics, but instead went along with whatever "felt" right, whatever hurt the least amount of people (you see that I might have agreed with Bentley had I read him then...thank God I was too busy with Left Behind!); apologetics was so beyond me that I was moved to disdain Christians who seemed to be doing too much thinking. Sound familiar?
I give personal testimony to demonstrate some of the problems that stem from indifference toward Scripture, and I could easily continue with more indirect problems to which I was equally blind during that period. But it is enough to know the state that I was in when such was the sum of my dependence on Scripture. Now I have been increasingly troubled to turn and see this attitude rampant in the Church. The present atmosphere of anti-intellectualism (I know that is a tired word around here, but can we help it?) has served to shock me into a passion for recapturing the priority of theological education. Tame enough, right? But I wonder how many would respond favorably to the proposition that theological education is of primary, unconditional importance in the Church: "Primary" here indicating that for true believers, the fruit of righteousness should necessarily follow after it, and "unconditional" meaning that to a relative degree, such study should be a lifelong pursuit for all Christians, regardless of their unique role in the body of Christ.
At the birth of this blog, Marla and like-minded women were asked to justify what no one should ever have to defend: using a God-given intellect for God-centered purposes. I have a very big bone to pick with the way people throw around the word "arrogant," but no one here denies that pride is a vicious enemy to any kind of spiritual pursuit. Instead of assuming that we are hopelessly presumptuous to even attempt such a project, you could always join us in praying for true knowledge (Col. 1:9-10). My point is that contrary to popular opinion, growth in knowledge about God should actually be perfectly parallel to growth in the purest kind of humility.
It is possible that my posts so far are all sounding like Introductions to Laura's Latest Contrarian Causes. If so, I apologize, and you have my word that I am not out to stir up petty debates (confession: I loathe debating anyway), least of all incite division. But - Scripture makes it clear that preaching/teaching/writing about the true gospel incites a very necessary division: one between the sheep and the wolves in sheep's clothing. Thus the remedy to the Church's indiscriminate mix of true believers and false converts is one of the many blessings of theology. By teaching the whole, hard (John 6:60) counsel of God, we are presenting his message as it originally came: it appears to the saved as the most glorious love imaginable, and to the reprobate it looks like utter foolishness. It is a far cry from the popular social gospel, or the gospel that portrays an impotent Jesus knocking at the door of your heart (see and grossly misinterpret Rev. 3:20), but read the Bible and discern for yourself which one is the message Jesus brought.
---
But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life.
2 Corinthians 2:14-16a
Interesting post, Laura... I too have thought about whether or not a conversion is really that, a 'change', unless it's accompanied by changes in action and view. I was taught the gospel from my cradle, literally, by my believing parents, and 'prayed the prayer' at 3 years old. It wasn't until about age 15, though, that I came to the realization that believing in Jesus meant having an active relationship with Him and caring about honoring Him. Was I a Christian at 3, or 15? There was never any pinpoint moment (summer campfire moments notwithstanding). Still, I think God gives lots of grace to baby believers, which is what I was for my whole childhood, and does a gradual 'reeling in' of drawing people closer to Him. What made the difference between me and other friends who had the same background but by age 15 or so were still going through the motions, and soon had ceased even that? I have no litmus test and no answers except God's grace. But continued challenges to believers, to keep thinking and growing, helps people to evaluate whether they're growing or not. Still, even non-growers can't just be written off.. John 10:27-29
I was blessed by God with being placed in an expository non-denominational church when my pride finally broke and I called Christ Lord. I made a vow at that time that I would assume the Word was right until it was PROVEN wrong.
Now in my fourth church in the last 10 years, I have made sure all have been expository. My knowledge of theology is awful (witness the dispensationalism thread); but I love the Word. I want to know what God said, and then figure out what He meant - and for that I need good Bible teachers and wise counselors.
It is my contention that our differences as Christians only get resolved with our Bibles open on our laps in a sincere discussion of what is written there. It is an enjoyment above all others to discuss His Word with others trying to understand it.
I have seen first hand the wretchedness of believing people who are not in the Word. Confused, bumbling along, up and down, yet all the time loved by God. How does He love us so?
The Bible is the true story of our God, His work, His love, His call to each person to come home to Him. Yet, I find most believers are more apt to read "Our Daily Bread" or listen to a radio preacher than to pick up the Bible and read it for themselves. I have lead Bible studies now for 14 years and still find that people don't do the work of studying. Too busy with sports, diet, housework....anything to keep from thinking!
I see it as the way of our culture to want something in an instant, without the bother of work or effort. Sort of a plastic surgery of the soul....At any rate, the desire to know God has to come from God and I believe scripture teaches that He gives that to us and His Spirit within urges us, but we are far too busy with the minor things of life, and we ignore the call to know God. If you want a picture of pride, that might be a good one.
A fine read that touches on these issues is Ian Murray's Revival and Revivalism -- he contrasts the differences between the first and second great awakening -- the first having an emphasis on the preached word and converts having a true understanding of repentence and faith, the second having an emphasis on technique to bring sinners to a conversion moment. It's well worth your time!
Russell
Margaret: Yes, my understanding of conversion has evolved similarly in the last year or so. From a Calvinist perspective, I can say that I was effectively saved since before the foundations of the world were laid, but of course that doesn't mean I wasn't the enemy of God for the first 12, maybe 15 or so years of my life. And that's what motivates me to want to do something about making biblical theology paramount for all ages and all types of people in the Church.
JCHFleetguy: "It is an enjoyment above all others to discuss His Word with others trying to understand it." You got it. :)
Barbara - But this is my contention, that many of those people who are bumbling along may not even have any idea of the true gospel. Maybe they thought they were converted, but they were presented with something that fell short of biblical standards and made them think somehow that they saved themselves - that is surely not the saving gospel. Anyway, I agree with you about people wanting instant gratification in their spiritual life. It certainly is pride to think that we can do alright without spending time in study, that we can get by on our own supposed wisdom.
Russell - Ooh, I've heard lots of talk about that book. Thanks for the reminder to put it on my wishlist. :)
This was a great reminder that I really do need to get back to reading the Bible. I have been more neglectful than I care to admit and I can see how that has affected my relationships. Thanks for the nudge.
In the Introduction (worth the price of the book) to Essential Truths of the Christian Faith, R.C. Sproul argues that both the heart and mind are primary in the Christian life. (I'd quote directly but all my books are packed away as I just moved!) They are, however, primary in different ways. The heart is primary in importance, but the mind is primary in order. We must have right ideas about God and His creation before we can correctly direct our passions toward Him. When I taught on this last I added hands, which are primary in manifestation. Our actions are the natural outworking of minds and hearts actively pursuing God.
I'm not sure we become a Christian and immediately are explicitly transformed in each area. Certainly God is at work in sanctifying every area of our lives, but most people I know don't exhibit change in every area immediately. I "prayed the prayer" when I was 6, but didn't really surrender myself to Christ until 13. I would say that at that time I was mostly about action. Being Christian meant doing acts of service. Sometime in high school I was introduced to apologetics and it became a faith of the mind. It wasn't until I was 19 or 20 that I began truely seeking God with my heart.
The point of all my rambling- sanctification takes many forms in our lives and they may not always be apparent. Looking back now (as a Calvinist) I'm confident in saying God has always been my savior. A year ago when I was an Arminianist, I'd say I was saved when I was 13 (my conversion to Calvinism is also sanctification). Either way, no matter what perspective we take, I believe the important thing is to be assured and confident of our salvation at this present moment.
Laura, great thought provoking post, as usual! The comments are of equal calibur and each contain something of my response, esp, Margaret and Roger.
One of the dichotomies of my spiritual path is that I was so immersed in my secular education--which meant constantly battling--that I never got a proper theological education, though I think it's fair to say I gathered a lot of knowledge by osmosis.
All I have time for now that I'm done with my worldly education and am getting my MRS and MOM degrees is dabbling in these pursuits (and learning a heck of lot from the likes of all of you).
My husband introduced me to John MacArthur (not in person of course), whom I was initially critical of (due to my being raised in a semi-charismatic church--I am now Reformed Baptist if I have to put a label on myself but suspect I'd be Presbyterian if there were any non-liberal churches of that variety in this area). Anyway, the little theology I've grabbed a hold of has come from him--because, well, he just makes sense. At least to me in my current layperson (semi-conscious, always sleep deprived) state. The only place I know I deviate from him is in his view on counseling, which tends to be anti-psychology, but that's a whole nuther topic.
What you've stated her about your conversion reminds me of MacArthur's "Lordship theology." In a nutshell, that if someone is truly saved, they will bear fruit because they will not only believe in Jesus, but surrender their lives to him as Lord...and how can they do that without getting into the Word?
The one theological issue that I couldn't help but wrestle with was Armenianism vs. Calvinism (which I was first exposed to in my freshman year stint at Westmont College). Even John MacArthur couldn't sway me from Armenianism (and his Reformedness was probably another reason for my skepticism of him), but my husband was Calvinistic (without even totally realizing it I think), so that opened me up to the idea just a crack. Then one night I discovered the Christian Counterculture website (back when it was heavy on Calvinism) and I had a breakthrough. It was almost like another conversion experience, though I firmly believe I have been walking with Jesus since my childhood (see The Practice of the Presence of God--the thinnest "theology" book with the most profound meaning).
So maybe what we think is our "true conversion" might just be spiritual growth. There are plenty of Christians in other cultures and even in our own without access to theological resources--sometimes not even the Bible--who are Christians.
I think there are different turning points for all of us. Each person's relationship with God is unique, as is their understanding and knowledge of Him. Just my random ramblings ;)
JCFleetguy: Amen to everything you said!
We Baptists are supposed to have "no creed but the Bible." Sometimes I think that should be corrected to "no creed and no Bible." I think it runs deeper than anti-intellectualism, apathy and busyness. It's rebellion against God's authority. In the church. Rampant. Insidious.
I'm discouraged tonight, having been to yet another superficial-level-only Bible-less man-controlled church meeting. Sorry.
It's late; I meant "Amen to your thoughts" and not to your experience in good, expository teaching churches with wise counselors . . . .
So maybe what we think is our "true conversion" might just be spiritual growth. There are plenty of Christians in other cultures and even in our own without access to theological resources--sometimes not even the Bible--who are Christians.
Well put. I've been thinking the same. And I've been thinking about election and perseverance - we are chosen and we do persevere, although that may be in fits and starts sometimes and not always fluid (from our perspective). I thought you nailed it nicely with your comment.
Thanks, Catez. It must be all that prayerful processing I'm doing right now...so much to learn and so much room to grow.
Marla and Catez hit it right on the spot. Growth and maturity is our realization of and the response to the saving grace received from God through Christ. Some people have a life time to walk this out---Hallelujah---some do not, like the criminal on a cross next to Christ.
