Outtakes Video:
Onion News Network Edition

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys


Repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health, according to a new study.

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Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales?


Panelists discuss a new report that found only 84% of education funding goes to teaching children about whales.

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Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas


Due to rising domestic wages, many American parents are saving money by using unregulated overseas workers.

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Tired Of Traffic? A New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'


The Department of Transportation reports gridlock can be eliminated by simply honking your car's horn.

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Report: 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic


Is that compliment real or not? A new report tells you how to know the difference.

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Is Our Wealth Hurting Africa's Feelings?


Panelists discuss whether we should spare Africa's feelings by not telling them about the global economy.

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Onion News Network Edition
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