February 20, 2007

How To Pick a Preacher


Dear Joe,
Lately I’ve wanted to become a better Christian (like you) and decided that I needed to go back to church. Shopping around for a church isn’t exactly easy, though. I know I shouldn’t choose a church based solely on the preacher but if the preacher isn’t good then I find it difficult to stay interested. How do you judge whether the preacher is any good?

P.R.

Dear P.R.,
For my next career (i.e., after I get fired from this job) I’m considering going into the ministry. Not only do I think it is my calling in life but to me it’s the perfect job. Being a pastor would allow me to combine my three biggest passions: telling people how they should live, avoiding manual labor, and eating.

Preachers lead a cushy, well-fed existence. Basically all they do is talk and eat. That seems to be the standard format for a life as a minister. Put in an hour of work on Sunday--then get invited to lunch. Visit with the sick people in the hospital--then eat their Jello when they nod off. Grab a deacon and drop by some unsuspecting parishioner’s house during dinnertime--and then, well, you get the idea. Then, after a long day of talking and gorging, you can go soak your feet in the baptistery. What more could you ask for in a career?

Unfortunately, though, it will be a few more years before I have a congregation of my own. When I become a minister then you are welcome to join my church (note: I have a preference for fried chicken and corn on the cob). So in the meantime, here a few pointers to picking out a preacher:

Ensure the pastor knows what he is talking about -- Like everyone else, preachers sometimes get lazy and don’t properly prepare. Sometimes, if they think no one is paying attention, they often just start making stuff up like referring to so-called “books of the Bible” such as Nahum or Habbakuk or Haggai. Don’t let them fool you. I’ve been reading the Bible my whole life and I can tell you that I’ve never seen any of those books before.

Be sure he isn’t long-winded -- This becomes especially important during football season. While it can be difficult to spot a gasbag before they get started, oftentimes you can pick up on subtle clues.

For example, if he opens his sermon with, “How ‘bout them Cowboys!” there’s a good chance you’ll be out in time for kickoff. If, on the other hand, you notice he takes a sack lunch to the podium then pray you remembered to set the TiVo.

Avoid overbearing preachers -- Though they have the best of intentions, some preachers can be a bit hard to stomach. I once had a pastor who would constantly refer to us “lost”, “degenerate sinners”, and “in need of redemption.” Once he got wound up it would spiral off into claims that we were “wicked”, “unrepentant” and “bound for hell.” Now if the fire-and-brimstone speeches would have come on Sunday morning I wouldn’t have minded. But when you’re playing church league softball you really expect more encouragement from the coach.

Find a minister that won’t sugarcoat the truth -- While you don’t want a preacher who’s too harsh, you also don’t want one that is afraid to be controversial. Church people are just sinners like everyone else. The only difference is that we know where to meet on Sunday to hear the best gossip.

In order to keep us on the straight and narrow we need to hear sermons on the touchy subjects that hit close to home. One of my favorite pastors used to preach about a different sin every week. Every sermon he would rail against backbiters, slanderers, hypocrites, perverts, etc. I always went home feeling the message had really touched my heart, almost as if it were meant for me. His sermons never failed to stir me, though, to be perfectly honest, I would have preferred he not end each example of wickedness with “…like Joe.”

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comments
JohnW writes:

1

If a preacher praises Bush for standing up for "the culture of life" because he didn't approve stem cell research legislation-reject the preacher. He doesn't have the ability to see the big picture or is dishonest.

posted on 02.20.2007 5:24 PM
Coram Deo writes:

2

How sad that your satire hits so close to the mark with respect to professing Christians within today's ecumenical churches of deceit.

posted on 02.20.2007 8:46 PM
David M. Smith writes:

3

Very funny [and true] post Joe.

posted on 02.20.2007 10:43 PM
JohnW writes:

4

Coram Deo,

Perhaps you could expand upon your thoughts in Post #2?

I was not being satirical. I recently moved and had been searching for a new church and left a church I attended for about a month for the reasons I stated. I decided to leave the church the Sunday the minister spent the whole sermon talking about abortion and the culture of life. The minister praised Bush for his defense of the "culture of life" because he vetoed the stem cell research bill. FYI, I don't support abortion, but I found it outrageous for someone to praise Bush for his standing up for "the culture of life" and not recognize what is going on in Iraq. What about the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi families who have had love ones killed, injured, and tortured for no good reason? I am glad he was speaking up for the unborn, but what about the people that have been born already. And what about the increased militarization of our country? It would seem to be at odds with the "culture of life".

If a minister can spend his whole sermon talking about "the culture of life" and not even mention the devastating loss of life in Iraq, he is either ignorant or intellectually dishonest.

I started attending a local Presbyterian church-one of those deceitful mainline churches that had enough integrity to not support the unjust invasion and occupation of Iraq and to show some empathy for the people suffering from it.

posted on 02.20.2007 11:59 PM
Baggi writes:

5

JohnW,

I think he was talking to Joe.

Joe,

Very funny stuff. If we Christians could get such entertainment from radio, television and the movies like this, we'd be in a much better place right now. How is it that you can write so well and yet not display nudity, use hate filled language or encite us all to violence?

Must be some sort of trickery!

posted on 02.21.2007 12:03 AM
JohnWq writes:

6

Hey, Baggi, I think you're right. Whoops. Should have paid more attention before going off on a rant.

Nevermind, Coram.

posted on 02.21.2007 12:30 AM
Coram Deo writes:

7

Yes, my comment was in response to Joe's post. My apologies for the lack of clarity.

JohnW (a.k.a. JohnWq?),

Good luck with your search for a home church that preaches the whole counsel of God and is more interested in the eternal things of God Almighty than the temporal things of sinful man.

There's certainly a body of believers with whom you can fellowship and glorify your Creator and Judge, however difficult it may be to locate.

posted on 02.21.2007 12:35 AM
seeker writes:

8

Actually, it is probably more important to choose a good church than a good preacher, although a good preacher most certainly is part of a good church.

I would look for a church that has
- strong biblical preaching
- an emphasis on small group membership
- some emphasis on serving the local community
- maybe a good children's ministry (not essential, but good)
- dynamic worship

You might want to read How to identify bad preaching.

posted on 02.21.2007 12:53 AM
jared writes:

9

JohnW:

You wonder why Iraq was not mentioned? Perhaps because the pastor knew the difference between the deliberate killing of innocent life and the accidental killing of innocents as an unfortunate by-product of war?

Maybe if you give it some thought, you'll see the difference, too.

jared

posted on 02.21.2007 12:56 AM
Collin Brendemuehl writes:

10

Seeker,
Consider al
- quality adult education ministry

Enjoy. Go Badgers!

posted on 02.21.2007 7:28 AM
JohnW writes:

11

Coram,

[JohnWq was a typo]

You were not being unclear, I was not paying attention and went off on a tirade.

I appreciate your thoughts and I should focus my mind on God's word and my faith. I should not focus so much on short-comings of our political system-although I think it's reasonable to recognize what is going on and speak out against what I think is wrong.

jared, The iraq war was not necessary and was not a just war, therefore I would say the killings of civilians is deliberate and evil. To think otherwise is to really have your head in the sand. Those Iraqi lives are every bit as precious as the unborn.

posted on 02.21.2007 10:15 AM
Marie writes:

12

John W,

"Not necessary?" To what do you attribute the fact that we have not been attacked on our soil since 9/11?

posted on 02.21.2007 12:51 PM
JohnW writes:

13

Marie,

Why no terrorist attacks since 911? Simple: There are almost no terrorists in our country and few living abroad that have the means to hit us from abroad. The threat has been hyped by the government and most of the media. Just because they say "we are fighting them over there, so we won't have to fight them over here", doesn't make it so. Also, our invasion and occupation of Iraq is creating more terrorists. If you have hundreds of thousands of people who have had family members needlessly kill, injured, or tortured, there is a good chance this may result in increased hatred of our country. They are not all hating us because "they hate our freedoms"...it might be something more concrete like a loss of a loved one.

For a better answer to your question about why there have been no attacks, I would like to refer you to an article by John Mueller in Foreign Affairs from September 2006 entitled "Is There Still a Terrorist Threat? The Myth of the Omnipresent Enemy" (it's available on the internet).

posted on 02.21.2007 1:46 PM
seeker writes:

14

Collin wrote:
Consider also quality adult education ministry

You know, that's kind of a Baptist thing, and none of the Charismatic/Pentecostal churches I have attended have had adult education ministries.

What are they for? Are they like extra classes in Christianity? Are the run by the pastor or as a lay ministry? How do they support the work of the church? I am not against them, just not sure how they should be included as an essential ministry of the church.

posted on 02.23.2007 1:20 PM
Marie writes:

15

Seeker,

In the Presbyterian circles, we have adult Sunday School right at the same time as Children's Sunday School. Also, Bible Study weekly.

John W,

"There are almost no terrorists in our country. . "

I'd like some of what you've been smokin'.

posted on 02.23.2007 1:29 PM
JohnW writes:

16

Marie,

Personally, I don't care if you call me a "pot-head" or crazy. A wise person tries to gather information from a variety of sources and reaches his own conclusions.

Tell me, where are all the terrorists? You'd think the FBI would be able to uncover some terrorist cells if there were so many of them. The few so called terrorist plots that have allegedly been foiled turn out to be some stupid nonsense upon further scrutiny.

I like to invite you to read that Foreign Affairs article I mentioned, so you can get a different perspective on the "war on terror". You can't get a realistic perspective from TV news anymore-they are too busy reporting on Ann Nicole's death and Britney Spears cutting her hair and getting a tatoo.

posted on 02.23.2007 2:25 PM
Marie writes:

17

John, I don't think you are a pothead. My smokin' comment meant to say, you are out of touch with reality on this one.

There have been several individual terrorists and terrorist groups broken up in the US since 9/11. One was near me in the Sierra foothills, a Pakistani ice cream man and his son. They went and trained in Afghanistan, etc. etc., were all set to kill. I won't bother to google it for you. If you think about it I am sure you can recall several instances of arrested terrorist cells right here in the U.S. over the past few years. Experience teaches us, just like if you find one mouse you have several: if you arrest several terrorist cells/individuals, you have many.

posted on 02.23.2007 3:38 PM
JohnW. writes:

18

I am not worried about a terrorist attack. Am more worried about the increased militarization of our society and drifting away from democracy.

posted on 02.23.2007 5:58 PM
seeker writes:

19

BTW, I found another very relevant piece I wrote entitled Ten Principles of Church Membership which I think answers some of your questions about pastors.

posted on 02.24.2007 4:05 AM
Teri Pittman writes:

20

Our preacher works a 40 hour week job. He gets an extra $800 for preaching to us. It's a small, local non-denominational church. It could easily die out but we just don't think it's time yet. We were impressed by one of the members. The son of the founders of the church, he was in his 80s when we met him and suffering from Alzheimers. Church members helped him stay in his house until the end.

We just went through a bit of nasty church politics. Those of us on the pastor's side seem to have won as the troublemaker is moving on to another church. We have no piano player and sing without accompliment. By any criteria you might choose, this is not likely the church you would join. We hope to be members until we die.

posted on 02.26.2007 7:15 PM
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