Dear Joe,
Why can't a woman over the age of sixty find a man?
Dear D.G.,
The first question is why a woman over sixty, a woman who has lived long enough to have gained maturity and wisdom, a woman who should understand what is truly important in life want to find a man. The second question is what is such a woman doing reading this blog.
For a woman of any age, finding a good man is a daunting task. Before the age of forty, women find that all men are either (a) already married, (b) gay, or (c) idiots. Since the good ones are already taken, women have a choice of either stealing someone else’s man or stealing someone else’s man - and then converting them. Over the age of forty, women have a similar difficulty since all men are (a) still married, (b) still gay, or (c) dead.
Because women live longer than men, the pool of available bachelors dwindles considerably after the age of sixty. According to government statistics, women can expect to live to the age of 80 while men can expect to check out around the age of 74. These figures, however, are skewed by the inclusion of married men, who tend to live longer than their single cohorts. Remember all of those “confirmed bachelors” that you used to see when you were younger? Remember the 35 year old Hugh Hefner wannabes? You know where they are at the age of 60? They’re trading pick up lines with Satan down at Club Hades.
While a married man can expect to live until 74, a single guy is lucky if he can make it to age 42. Because they don’t have a woman around to keep them fom doing something fatally stupid, group (c) shifts from “idiots” to “dead idiots.” For instance, a man can expect to add about thirty years to his life if before he eats the pizza he found underneath the couch, he has a wife who will remind him to scrape off the mold first. Of course, if you have a wife around you probably won’t find foodstuffs lying around under your furniture.
You might want to reconsider the underappreciated value of remaining single. “Are you free from a wife?” the Apostle Paul asked in his letter to the Corinthians. “Do not seek marriage.” St. Paul also goes on to point out that, “Those who marry will have worldly troubles.” Naturally, I didn’t find those passages in the Bible until after I was married In fact, it was pointed out to me by one of my best friends who, incidentally, never married. He was a great guy who I dearly miss.
Had a woman been around to tell him that anchovies don’t have green fur, he might have lived to the ripe old age of 36.
1
"The second question is what is such a woman doing reading this blog."
Huh? Why would you ask such a question? Aren't those of us who are 60 (I'm a 1945 model) supposed to be able to use a computer? the internet? blog? I spent much of my working career supporting computer software, it's really not that unusual that someone of our "vintage" know how to do these things. We think your viewpoint is skewed by not having "been there".
What is this sweet little old lady supposed to be doing? sitting at the "home", knitting, and waiting for our Redeemer to tap her on the shoulder?
And this 60 year old former Heffner wannabe is still very much alive, with a very different set of goals now, thanks to that same Redeemer.
So be prepared, you'll likely have to deal with us when we all "Gather at the River".
posted on 05.12.2006 10:42 PM2
Dave2 Huh? Why would you ask such a question?
I just assume that anyone entering their senior years wouldn't want to read my juvenile rantings. ; )
posted on 05.12.2006 11:51 PM3
Joe
I think there are a few serious issues under this one. One: why do women live longer than men?
Gordon
posted on 05.13.2006 5:45 AM4
I have a friend widowed in her 50s, now 66, who has had 2 serious boyfriends since (one died). So it is definitely possible.
posted on 05.13.2006 5:22 PM5
Joe, With all due respect, I think you got it wrong with this post. That's assuming that you were speaking seriously.
The original question can be interpreted as seeking an empirical answer or a normative answer. You start out by giving empirical reasons why women "can't" find a man after 60 - which is all right, although you put men into three categories when they aren't even remotely accurate. You say women find that men are either married, idiots, or gay. What about straight single men who *aren't* idiots? You're not giving single men enough credit.
I mostly take issue with the normative tone of your answer, though. You ask why a woman who "should understand what is truly important in life" would want a man after sixty. You inherently imply that a) having a man might not be, for at least some, among the things that are "truly important" in life; and b) somehow a woman above age 60 has drastically different emotional needs/desires than a woman below age 60. Both of these responses are overbroad and overstated.
I wouldn't mind such nonsense if your blog wasn't so well-read, and if it weren't an "evangelical" blog - one that beliefnet even calls "best spiritual blog." I think that when we're given such opportunity to influence, we have to be extra careful about the things we say - in a way, that's stewardship of the opportunities that God gives us.
But that's just my opinion.
Respectfully,
Emily
6
Joe, your wit is limitless.
Juvenile or not, I'm glad you finally decided to set up this dating page for us seniors.
Myself, I'm not gay, and I'm not dead. I do have a prior commitment, but any hot 60-year-old with lots of money could have me. I'd like to move to Miami. Or at least visit again.
I'm 56, reaonably well muscled, not overweight, blond hair turning white, glasses, 5'11 1/2", witty, moody, curious, and mostly white.
I agree, Joe, I don't know why any mature woman in her right mind would feel the need for a man, but I'm sure there is the rare few out there. Maybe they never got screwed over real bad, Or maybe they got over it if they did. Maybe another good roll in the hay is worth all the pain. I remember being alone and just wishing I had another body in the bed with me. Maybe that's all they need. Just a a warm body. I don't know, I've been studying women for 50 years, an I can't tell ya.
But I'm always up for the game!