You’ll be ashamed of how you used to dress -- You can’t look at old yearbook photos of your mom without laughing at her beehive hairdo, can you? Go take a look in the mirror. See that. Take a good look because that’s the hair style that your kids will be laughing about. Your parents at least have an advantage you don’t have. They realize both how silly they looked and how goofy you look now. And, unlike your generation, they will never have to explain that ugly scar caused by the infected nose ring.

You’ll become a Republican (for at least a day) -- In the near future you’ll get your first job. Soon after you’ll get your first paycheck and find that you only received half of what you thought you had earned. The other half will be given to some guy named FICA. From this experience you may acquire a lifelong hatred of taxes. And even if it doesn’t permanently affect your political views, it will have a significant impact. After all, even liberal Democrats itemize their deductions.

You’ll learn to appreciate country music -- Kids who grow up listening to rock or rap often believe that country musicians only sing about how the dog died, the truck broke down, and their woman ran off. That is, of course, a fairly accurate assessment of country music. But by the time you hit forty you’ll have had your share of dead dogs, dead batteries, and dead-end relationships. You’ll find that you can relate to this music better than you can songs about drinking champagne while driving in your Rolls and getting shot at by rival East Coast rappers.

You’ll find you never stop learning -- I’m 36. When I look back my life at age 25 I realized I didn’t know as much as I thought I did. Of course when I was 25 I looked back at 18 and wondered how I ever survived being so stupid. The one constant in life -- other than that FICA guy -- is that you never stop learning. Somewhere an 87 year old man is saying to himself, “You know, when I was 65… I just didn’t have a clue.”