Camille Paglia believes her Salon column was the first true blog.
This will stand alongside Al Gore's claim to have invented the Internet as the perfect blend of hubris and cluelessness.
Paglia is no blogger. For this small blessing we can be thankful, for she would be the worst hybrid of iso-blogger/linker on the Web.
Her recent interview with Salon reads like a Tiger Beat profile on a politically astute name-checking rap grrrrll. She manages to cram 89 different references into one 5966 word interview (We get it, Camille, you're smart.)
Since most people aren't masochistic enough to slog through the entire article I pulled out the most important paragraph. Be careful not to touch, though. It's dripping with irony:
"Blog reading for me is like going down to the cellar amid shelves and shelves of musty books that you're condemned to turn the pages of. Bad prose, endless reams of bad prose! There's a lack of discipline, a feeling that anything that crosses one's mind is important or interesting to others. People say that the best part about writing a blog is that there's no editing -- it's free speech without institutional control. Well, sure, but writing isn't masturbation -- you've got to self-edit."
Bad prose, lack of discipline, saying whatever crosses your mind, thinking that others will find it interesting. Care to see how many of these bases Ms. Paglia can cover in her interview?
Let's take a look:
She doesn't like: The Media, Sadaam Hussein, U.S. intelligence, The Iraqi War, Democratic senators, the Roman Empire, American foreign policy, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld (hates him), Newt Gingrich, Al-Qaida, John Kerry (bad hair), the Bush Administration, neoconservatives, Gen. Wesley Clark, Keir Dullea in "2001: A Space Odyssey", Eva Peron, Newsweek, Maureen Dowd ("catty, third-rate, wannabe sorority queen"), Bill O'Reilly ("crass sliver of Limbaugh"), Al Franken, Michael Moore, David Letterman ("smirky, cynical, callow, smarmy and jejune"), Curtis Sliwa, Cuomo, Al Gore's voice, Sean Hannity ("embarrassingly drunk on his cult of self"), Video games, blogs(!),
She does like: The United Nations, the military, architecture and artifacts of ancient Mesopotamia, international diplomacy, just wars, Howard Dean (just barely), Stevie Nicks, John Edwards, Eisenhower, Hillary Clinton, Dianne Feinstein, Ralph Nader, AM Radio, New York Times online, Lenny Bruce, Ron Kuby, Bob Dylan, Cher, Terry McAuliffe ("a buffoon and parasite"), Madonna's ""Into the Groove", Madonna's video for "Vogue", The Drudge Report, Britney Spears,
She feels sorry for: George Bush, the Iraqi Army, Rush Limbaugh, Natalie Wood, Princess Diana, Lourdes (Madonna's kid), Tina Onassis
Name drops but doesn't specify how she feels about: Egyptian pharaohs, Sen. Robert Byrd, Israel,Michael Dukakis, John McCain, C-SPAN, NPR, the Kremlin, London Times, Democratic Party, Kausfiles, Andrew Sullivan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, "60 Minutes", the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Howard Stern, Donovan McNabb ("popular but uneven skills"), Hollywood, New York's WABC,
Judy Garland, Princess Diana, Marshall McLuhan, Bill Clinton, Vampira -- Queen of the Night, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez, Matt Drudge, the Web
Too close to call: Madonna, Bill Clinton.
Whew.
Let's let Ms. Paglia have the last word.
"My columns had punch and on-rushing velocity. They weren't this dreary meta-commentary, where there's a blizzard of fussy, detached sections nattering on obscurely about other bloggers or media moguls and Washington bureaucrats. I took hits at media excesses, but I directly commented on major issues and personalities in politics and pop culture. If bloggers want to break out of their ghetto, they've got to acquire a sense of drama and theater as well as a flair for language. Why else should anyone read them?"
*smirk*
(Update: Trish Wilson makes an excellent point on a Paglia claim that I overlooked.)