There are 1,158,452 blogs in the blogosphere. I have but one of them.
I spend hours sifting through my blogroll, reading posts, searching for the DNA of a new meme that I can make my own. Through the A-listers and down through the ranks of the Ecosystem.
And then…I find It. The embryo of an undiscovered meme. In my head it all comes together and I realize I have It: the Perfect Post.
I write and revise and rewrite some more. I'm exhilarated that the Meme Muse would choose me, yet despair my lack of ability. I edit and prune, trimming the fat until I reach the perfect word count, the Kabbalahic mystery number: 320.
I read the post with a stopwatch in hand. 72 seconds. Perfect. Well under the 96 second rule.
Then I post and await the accolades. My brilliant analysis will hit the tipping point and spread like an epidemic through the Web. I'll be Instalaunched and carried on the burly shoulders of Andrew Sullivan. The Alliance and League will join together to sing my praises. I'll hit #1 on the New Weblog Showcase. Glenn will plug my upcoming appearance on "Hannity and Colmes."
I go to Sitemeter to check my hits and page views.
Nothing.
I hit refresh. Two new hits! Maybe it's Mickey Kaus and Virginia Postrel scouting new talent.
Refresh. They're gone.
Check the email. No comments. Is Trackback working? No links.
I'm afraid to post anything new. What if my Perfect Post gets buried and overlooked? What if no one scrolls down far enough to find it?
Days go by.
*sigh*
I sift through more blogs, reading posts, searching for the seed of a new meme…
1
I hear your pain....
and then one day suddenly someone links to one of those posts you did on the spur of the moment that you put no thought or effort into about something you're not actually interested in....and you have a reputation for being the blog that talks about farting or inflatable churches or some other inconsequential topic! :-)
nice post!
posted on 10.30.2003 3:40 PM2
Hey, you've written that post too? Wow, what are the odds of two bloggers doing the same thing like that?
(Actually, I'm about to post one such Perfect Post in the next day or so. It's probably a complete turd, but I'm convinced it's good. That's why I started blogging anyway: so my wife wouldn't have to listen to it.)
posted on 10.30.2003 5:37 PM3
So, give your posts some "interesting" titles, you'll get Google hits, at least.
posted on 10.31.2003 1:24 PM4
Great post! Especially this part:
"I’m afraid to post anything new. What if my Perfect Post gets buried and overlooked? What if no one scrolls down far enough to find it?"
I've been there so many times... and I've only been blogging for about three months.
posted on 10.31.2003 2:11 PM5
Well said! Although this post appears to be more perfect than your perfect post. ;-)
posted on 10.31.2003 5:51 PM8
Wonderfully crafted. You've captured the psyche of the blogger (the mortal blogger at least). Keep up the good blogging.
- Skeleton Jack
posted on 11.03.2003 10:46 AM9
Sometimes I wonder why I get excited about a post I consider excellent. I have concluded that my taste is inclined towards my style of writing, and is not shared by any other human being.
posted on 11.05.2003 9:03 AM10
I too have whipped out gratutious filler and had it linked and linked and commented on until my head swells to bursting point. So I slave over what I think is a really funny bit only to have it die unnoticed.
I think I'm going to take HOodie Craw's tip and just put the word "sex" or "fellatio" in all my titles.
11
Most blogs are on the "outer reaches" - that's just the nature of the blogosphere, and it makes sense. You wouldn't want to have to be like Reynolds, posting eighty thousand times a day would you?
If you're an expert in something, anything, even inflatable churches or whatever that comment said, then right about *that* and eventually someone will find you.
12
I know where there's a picture of Asia Carrera with all her clothes on. You could post it to a grade school's site and not get in trouble. You could try to include that into your next perfect post and see what happens.
Here - A PICTURE OF ASIA CARRERA that's my suggestion.
That should get you some hits from the Europervs at google.uk, google.de and all those .ru search engines.
posted on 11.05.2003 7:27 PM13
Couldn't have said it better myself. I know it's difficult given the number of things people have to take up their time, but when one spends so much time on a post, naturally they wish to have it read and even possibly linked. I know nothing of the Instalaunch yet as it is early in my blogging "career" and I do not see my humble site anywhere near worthy of Sullivan, Postrel, et al., but I figure hey, if at least one person reads my words/thoughts then I have achieved something. What that is, I know not. Keep on keepin' on.
And he's right about the google searches. It's given me a new life on the web.
posted on 11.09.2003 2:09 PM14
Virgina Postrel actually visited my site once. Not twice!
I feel your pain.
posted on 02.25.2004 11:25 AM15
I must say, though I very rarely comment in weblogs, that this site is very educating (for me). Thanks.
posted on 02.29.2004 4:05 AM